Ok. It’s happening. My big chop is Friday. This Friday. As in, the day after tomorrow.
I’m going for the TWA (teeny weeny afro) and I’m terrified.
I waver between terrified and excited. Right now, I’m excited. Twenty minutes ago I was so terrified I was crying.
Mostly, I’m afraid because I don’t know what my hair type is. I’m guessing I’m 4b or 4c. I can’t remember natural hair. I’ve had a relaxer since I was eight. My only memories of my natural hair are terrible – my mom yelling at me and me crying when it was time for her to do my hair.
I don’t like my relaxed hair anymore. I’m tired of straight. I’m tired of living in fear of my own NATURAL hair. The hair that grows out of my head. I’ve had enough of being told my natural hair isn’t good enough.
I’m doing more research now about products and care. A YouTube video of some beautiful girl’s beautiful hair is on in the background at the moment.
Trying to keep my expectations real. I’ve been looking at photos of these TWA goddesses, but I’m trying to keep in mind that I won’t look like them.
Ok. That’s enough. If the big chop goes well on Friday, I’ll post a photo. If it doesn’t, I’m going to buy a wig and go straight to the bar and drink my sorrows away.